I Know Because it Happened to Me
by AngelWhiteRoses
Summary: Sara thought she left her past in the past but now when she comes face to face with it again how will see react? And can the team help her before time runs out? .
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own CSI and all of that stuff.

A/N: Thanks to my great Beta Dana, I love you Banana Peel. hugs

**Chapter One: A Case is Just a Case…Right? **

She told Grissom a secret, one that he thought was her deepest and darkest. What she hid was something that she thought she left back at Harvard. The secret was, after all her reason for leaving everything behind. She began to feel that a shadow was slowly closing in on her. Everyday it got closer and little did Sara know it was going to explode on the people around her. Her past was about to relive itself through the eyes of a new generation of girls; girls who were like her, were afraid to tell. So scared they wouldn't be believed and in a way they were scared that they would be. It's hard to get over these things as many know, or will find out. It's hard to get past the looks one, gets and the whispers. Maybe that is why Sara kept quiet all this years.

Sara was sleeping, something she didn't do very often. When she did sleep she was haunted by ghost from the past. Sometimes they came to her in shadows and others it was more vivid, as if were happening again. The dreams weren't always the same. One night it could be about the abuse she sustained from her father, or her mother stabbing her father to death. Then others it was about the rape. She hated those the most. She often woke up screaming from them, feeling physically hurt. After all these years that man still got to her. Sometimes she wished she would've reported it but she was young and from parents that weren't very upstanding citizens and he was a highly respected city council member. Sara was young and scared so she did the only thing she knew she could do, she ran. Now she lay in bed tossing and turning, fighting the demons the plagued her subconscious.

He sat next to her as they looked over her notes. She could smell him more strongly than she ever had before. The mix of Old Spice and pipe tobacco lingered in her airway as his hand started to run up and down her back. "Professor Featherhuf, please don't." Shrugging her shoulders her body started to tense up as she extended the distance between her and him. She shivered as he pulled her close to him and started to kiss her. She struggled to push him away but the more she fought the more he persisted. At some point in the struggle they ended up on the floor. Tears were streaming down her face as he kissed her neck. He took her hands and placed them under him as he sat on her chest. She watched as he pulled a roll of tape out of the drawer in the coffee table. Peeling a piece off he placed it over her mouth. Her hands were taped next; then he pulled her up and shoved her over and against the bookcase. She saw him pull a couple books off and push it forward. The hidden room contained a bed and cameras. He threw her on the bed and tied her there. Her pants were pulled off, and then he cut her shirt down the middle. The flashing of the camera was blinding. As her eyes tried to refocus she felt his hands slide into her underwear and pull them off. She felt him climb onto her. Her eyes were clamped shut afraid to look at him. Some how she thought if she closed them tight enough it would be a dream. She felt him enter her and she cried out in pain. Her whole body felt like it was on fire. She started to struggle to breathe and her head begun to spin. Then she didn't feel anything. When she finally came to she was untied and he was gone. Every muscle in her body ached as she pulled herself out of the bed and grabbed her clothes. Out in the other room she collected her books and put on her jacket covering her exposed chest. Then she ran, ran for her life, ran to what waited her. When she got home she decided she would keep quiet, she had to. She took a hot shower, she wanted to feel clean; but she wouldn't feel clean ever again.

Sara sat straight up in bed cold feeling sweat pouring down her face mixed with the hot tears streaming from her eyes. She pulled her knees to her chest and cried softly. Hearing the shower shut off she quickly lay back down and dried her eyes. She felt him get in bed and turn so he was facing her. Her eyes opened when he touched her face. "Hey when did you get home?" Sara moved closer to him and gave him a kiss. She never thought he would be the one she would share beds with. Tonight she slept in his. It's funny how she can sleep better in his bed than in hers. Even with the nightmares, Sara figured it was safer than her place. In his house and in his arms nobody could find them.

They were keeping a tight seal on the relationship at the moment. It wasn't like they were ashamed of each other; they just needed to be alone for awhile. The group was great but sometimes they could be over whelming, especially when it came to one of them dating. Least of all, him and her dating each other. So firstly they needed to get comfortable with each other before anyone could know. They both knew there would be questions, questions that they themselves have yet to discuss. They were slowly talking about what they wanted out of each other, out of their relationship. Right now they didn't need others butting into what they had.

Nick smiled at Sara pulling her closer to him. "Was home an hour ago, you were sleeping. So I just jumped into the shower." He pushed the hair out of her face and looked into her eyes. He could tell she had been crying and suddenly felt bad for not being there. He kissed her lips as he pulled her so she would lie under him. "You want to talk about it beautiful?" He wasn't at all surprised when she shook her head. "Okay then what do you wand to do?" He laughed as Sara pulled him into a kiss. "Well I can handle that." His hands started to go up her top. His kisses made their way down her neck and onto her collar bone. The ringing of the phone stopped him from getting any further. "Stokes" He looked at Sara and rolled his eyes. Hanging up the phone he started to give her more kisses again. "I would love to stay here, but that was Cath…" He Kissed her one more time, got ready and left.

Nick met Catherine at an apartment just off campus of LVU. "Hey Nick sorry to call you back; but I really need your help on this one." Catherine looked in the room where two girls sat. One held a bag talking to the other girl whose knees were to her chest and had damp hair. "Roommate said she came home and could hear the girl crying in the shower. After she was finished she went in and she found clothes in the trash. The girl says she wasn't raped but…I don't know, she acts like she was." Catherine didn't know what to do. The girl said it didn't happen but her body language said other wise.

Inside the apartment the two girls talked to each other. "Eli, its okay to tell them the truth, about what happened tonight. You can't let him win, you need to tell." Izzy wouldn't usually push people to do what they didn't want to but she was scared for her friend. She knew Eli was raped, so she did the only thing she knew how, she helped her. Izzy gently touched her shoulder and hoped one day she could forgive her. "Eli I'm sorry, but you need help. I couldn't just sit back and watch you suffer. I had to do something." She was taken back when her friend shoved her away.

Eli was scared to talk about the rape. She knew she should and she knew she shouldn't have taken that shower. Then again who would believe her? Even if they found the photos he took of her, they may still not believe her. Eli didn't know who to turn to. Her best friend in the world went against her and called the cops. In a way she was glad, but on the other hand she was so angry. She wanted it to go away, now it looked like it wouldn't. "Izzy I told you to leave it alone. Why couldn't you just drop it? Why?" She started to cry as she buried her head into her knees. "Please, just leave me alone. Just leave me alone." She wanted them to leave her in her solitude, yet she wanted them to help her. She was so confused. She didn't truly know what she wanted or needed.

Sara couldn't get back to sleep after Nick left so she decided to get up and finish her new crime novel. She had only read a few pages when her cell phone started to scream at her. "Sidle", she answered. Taking in what was being said on the other line she hung up and went to take a shower. She stood in the shower thinking about her own rape. For some reason she couldn't shake it off tonight. Sara didn't know how long she was in there but the water started to go cold. She snapped out of the memory, finished up and then got dressed and left. Sara was called into work Nick and Catherine's case as they needed help. So now it was all hands on deck.

Nick smiled at Sara as she walked down the hall towards him. "So they coned you into coming in and helping I see." He took her hand while looking around, and then he kissed it. He didn't notice that he still had a hold of her hand as he pulled her into the locker room. "Come here a minute." He pulled her into his arms and started to kiss her as he moved her so her back was against the lockers. "I wish we were at home in bed, beautiful." They stood there with their foreheads touching and holding hands while they talked. "Come on lets go see if everyone is here." He stepped away from her and walked hand and hand out the door. He was surprised when she didn't let go of his hand. He pulled her close to him and draped his arm over her shoulder and smiled to himself as her head came to rest on his.

Sara relaxed for the first time all night as she and Nick walked down the hall in each other's arms. She didn't care anymore what people thought of them being together. They were a couple and if the rest of team had a problem with that it was just too bad, they would have to deal with it. She loved him and wanted to start showing it in public. She couldn't think about when she changed her mind. It was strange she thought. A couple hours earlier she was not ready, but now she didn't care. Maybe it had to do with her nightmare, but right now she didn't seem to care. She was in his arms safe and happy.

Grissom happened to come around the corner just after Nick and Sara walked out of the locker room. His heart sank as he saw the site in front of him. 'Is she dating Nick? Have I lost her? How long have they been together? Am I too late?' All those questions immediately popped into his head. He was jealous of Nick, he was with Sara. His Sara. All he could do was stand there and watch him hold her. He wished it was him holding onto her, walking with her. He wondered what it would feel like to touch her skin. To hold her so close, his blood raced through his blood stream at the thought. He knew what he needed to do; some how he had to win her heart to tear hers away from Nick. He had to show her he was the man she was supposed to be with.


	2. Chapter 2: Fired

Disclaimer: Nope Still do not own them.

A/N: Thanks to Dana for the beta. And thanks for all the lovely reviews.

**Chapter Two: Fired**

When Nick and Sara walked into the conference room the rest of the gang looked up at them. He pulled out a chair out for Sara then took a set next to her. He didn't seem to notice the eyes on them as he kissed her hand. "You owe me fifty bucks Rick." Catherine held out her hand while Warrick paid her the money. "Thank you, sir." She laughed as she folded the money and stuck in into her pant's pocket. "If it makes you feel better, we will go have a meal. I'm buying." She gave him a little wink.

Grissom walked in and cleared his throat. He couldn't stop glaring at Sara. "Since this is Catherine's case I will let her and Nick…" Grissom was immediately distracted by the interaction between Sara and Nick. He was caught completely off guard and clueless as usual. "Explain what is going on!" He looked between Catherine and Warrick then back at Sara. "Sara! I'd like to see you in my office now!" He stormed out of the room and down the hall. He wasn't going to let Sara get away with this. Hank was one thing but now she was dating Nick? He was going to have to show her that she couldn't get away with it.

Sara rolled her eyes and looked at everyone. "Wonder what I did now." She stood up and walked out. The steps to his office seemed long and heavy. Her mind kept wondering what she could've done to make him so angry. She wasn't even close to maxing out on over time so that couldn't be it. She didn't think she was too hard on any suspects, and she hasn't even been harsh to Hodges. Her head started to ache while trying to think what could've got Grissom so upset. She stood at the doorway, watching Grissom write frantically.

"Come in." He uttered without even looking up. "Close the door and have a seat." He looked up at this time and had anger in his eyes. He placed his pen down and watched as she sat in the chair. "Look I don't care what you do on your own time but this is my time and I don't like the fact that you and Nick are all over each other in the halls and the conference room. This is a place of business, you got that?" He handed her the piece of paper he was writing when she walked in. "Sign this." Seeing the shocked look on her face he stood up and walked to the door. "I'm sorry I had to do this Sara, but it was you or Nick. This case we have now I need the strongest person and he is it." He opened the door to allow her out. "Goodbye Sara, I will be happy to give you a reference if you need one." When she stood in front of him with tears building up he had half the mind of taking the paper from her and ripping it up. The perfect solution to his mistake would be to push her against the door frame and kiss her; but he didn't. He just let her walk away.

Sara could barley see where she was going because of the tears that had taken her eyes captive. Bumping into someone in the locker room, she pulled open her locker and apologized without looking to see who she nearly knocked over. "Sara, are you okay?" Catherine walked up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Hearing her just come out with a yes or something like that, she became concerned. "I know I haven't been a good friend to you most of the time I should have; but if you ever need another women to talk to, I'm here." Surprised when Sara handed her a paper, she quickly took it and read it. "This is a joke right? Sara he can't fire you over that. You and Nick did nothing wrong. Even if you did it doesn't require this action. Man, one of us better warn Nick." She sat on the bench while shaking her head in shock.

"He's not going to fire Nick, just me." Sara sat down next to Catherine and put head in her hands. "Why's he doing this to me? I don't understand. Nick and I are happy why is her trying to ruin it?" She felt Catherine's hand on her back. She didn't know what to do. Her mind couldn't take in what just happened. That made her even more, angry; because she should be able to go through the thinking process. Right now however she just couldn't. "I thought he was my friend." She continued to cry. "I need to get home. Can you ask Nick to come over when shift is over, please?" She went to stand up and passed out cold on the floor.

"Oh God, Sara?" Catherine jumped to the floor and went to lift lifted her head up from the ground. "Hey Sara…Sara wake up." She placed her hands on the sides of her head. She felt something warm travel down her fingers. Pulling her hands back, her eyes focused on blood that laced her fingers. "We need help in here now." Catherine yelled as she started to tear up. "Sara, come on open your eyes, please." Panic started to set in as she couldn't wake her. Looking around she noticed nobody had heard her cries for help. "Damn it. Okay." She didn't know what to do. Help was needed but she was afraid to leave. Running to the door she yelled louder for help, this time it brought Warrick and Nick running. When she saw them running towards her, she went back to Sara.

They both stopped when they saw that Catherine was knelling by Sara. Nick froze when he her laying unconscious on the ground. His eyes filled with tears and his whole body shook. He told Warrick to go call for help. He then ran over to Sara and pushed Catherine out of the way as he tapped her on her cheeks. "What'd you do to her Cath?" Tapping her cheeks slightly as he called her name, he grew even more concerned when she still didn't respond. Just then he noticed Catherine's hands that still had blood on them. "Cath what happened?"

"I don't know. One minute we were talking about Grissom firing her. Then she stood up and passed out." It was Catherine's turn to bust out crying. "The back of her head is bleeding but…God Nick I don't know if we should move her. What if moving her to stop the blood hurts her more?" She couldn't think of what to do, even though she knew what had to be done. She just froze, looking at Sara and hoping she wasn't hurt as bad as she looked.

Nick took a shirt from the open locker behind him and put pressure on the back of her head. "There's really not that much blood." He ran his free hand down her face. "Sara? Wait! Did you say Grissom fired her?" He looked up ask further questions when the paper was handed to him. "What's this shit?" Nick looked at the paper with such anger he could have set it on fire with his eyes.

Warrick immediately ran to Grissom's office and flew the door open. "Grissom, it's Sara, I don't know what happened she's…she's lying on the floor in the locker room." Warrick tried to catch his breath. It wasn't the run that got him like that it was the sight of Sara hurt. "Gris, she's unconscious. You might want to call an ambulance. I think the back of her head is bleeding." He couldn't believe Grissom was just seating there with his back turned to him. "Gris come on…" He walked over to his chair and turned it around. He was rewarded with an empty seat. "Damn where is he?" He grabbed the phone right when Grissom walked in.

"Warrick what the hell are you doing? Is there a reason you are using my phone? You know there are other phones around the lab and you should have your cell on you." Grissom didn't understand why Warrick was just standing there. What could be so important that he would have to use his phone? So he stood there waiting to hear the explanation, anyone but the one he was about to hear.

Warrick dialed a number out and called for an ambulance while he saw all the color from Grissom's face drain. After hanging up he shook his head at Grissom. "Gris I'm sorry. You know sometimes our phones can act up in here. Sara needs help and I had to make sure I was heard clearly." He didn't want him to be upset but the phone was right there. Then he started to get questions thrown at him. "Grissom, Sara passed out or something in the locker room. I guess she hit her head cause it's bleeding." He couldn't understand why he stood there. "Nick is in with her." He knew that would get his attention, and he had to ran after him.

Grissom walked into the room, with Warrick right behind him, and could see Nick and Catherine on the floor next to an unconscious Sara. "What happened in here?" Grissom demanded. Panic started to set in. The death glares he was being given. He knew they knew about him firing her. Regret started to set in. Grissom knew if he hadn't over reacted about her being happy with Nick, she wouldn't be laying there. He walked over and sat down next to where her head laid. "You should get back to work, Nick." He looked up at the man who he respected and envied.

Before he could respond to what Grissom had just said he heard Sara slightly moaning. "Hey, hey Sara…come on that's it open your eyes." Nick said as he bent down and kissed her. He was happy that she was finally starting to come around; but not so happy that Grissom was sitting so close to her. It was his fault she was like this. Nick wished Grissom wouldn't treat Sara like his plaything. He would always just use her when he wanted then push her back away. Man, why couldn't he just allow her to be happy for once?

Sara's eyes fluttered open and then closed as she tried to regain clear vision. "What happened?" She slowly sat up; but almost fell back down again. Feeling his arms around her she looked at Nick. She looked at him and smiled. Taking a note that his arms were strong, she thanked him. She took in her surroundings, looking at Catherine, Warrick and then Grissom. "Grissom what are you doing here?" Her mind was clouded and she couldn't remember why he was there.

Nick started to feel uncomfortable with the way she was looking at Grissom. "Hey beautiful." Nick touched her so that she would face him. "You should lay back down until the paramedics come." He could see there was a different look in her eyes. "Sara, honey what is it?" Nick felt a fear like none he had ever felt before. He couldn't see the love in her eyes like that was there for so long. He couldn't understand why. He hoped she didn't blame him for what happened with Grissom. He prayed she wasn't going to walk away from Vegas and him.

Sara looked at the man who was holding her attention. She loved the way he was looking at her. His touch was soft and genital. She placed her hands on his shoulder and smiled once again at him. When he smiled back she felt happy. Her mind was so clouded about what had happened. When she went to stand up he held her back down. "Can I ask you a question?" Sara appeared confused when she spoke. When Nick nodded his head and called her beautiful one more time she looked at him strangely. "Do I know you?"


	3. Chapter 3: Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.

A/N: Thanks to Cybro for the great beta job. Also thanks for hanging in there with this fic. I have so much going on I'm finding it hard to get time to sit down to write.

Chapter Three: Breaking Up is Hard to Do

They all stood outside the door while Sara was being tended to by the paramedics. Nick just gave a death glare to Grissom. He couldn't believe that man. What gave him the right to hurt Sara one minute and the next act like nothing had happened? He knew if he didn't get away from him, his anger would boil over. "I'm going to work on that rape case. Maybe I can be useful there." He walked off before he anyone could say anything to stop him.

"I'll talk to him." Warrick announced as he moved past Catherine, and went on the search for Nick.

"What's his problem?" Grissom asked as he shrugged off Nick's reaction.

Catherine couldn't believe what he had just asked. She wondered if someone had been spiking his coffee or something. "You're joking right?" She could see from the look on his face he was really that clueless. "Let's see, the minute Sara and Nick open up on their relationship; you pull her into your office and fire her over it. Yet you don't punish Nick, not at all." She was really angry by this point. "Gil, you cannot fire her for holding his hand in the break room. It's not like they were making out, or having sex. Even if they were, both would be at fault. Both would've been reprimanded, not just Sara." She couldn't believe he was just standing there. "Well Gil, do you have anything to say for yourself? I want to hear why you thought it would be a good idea to do this."

Before Grissom could explain they brought Sara out on a gurney. He went to follow the paramedics, but Catherine stopped him. "Where the hell do you think you are going?"

"I'm going with Sara, where else?" Grissom shot back.

"Oh, I don't think so. I think you've done enough. I will go." Catherine started to walk away. "Fix this Gil, fix it or I will." She caught up with the paramedics and followed them out.

Once in the ambulance Catherine took Sara's hand and held it. "How you feeling, Sar?" She was honestly concerned for her. She knew they both hadn't been the best of friends, and she secretly blamed herself for that.

"I'm fine, have a headache from hell." Sara rubbed her head.

"I'm not surprised, you hit it pretty hard." Catherine laughed a bit.

"You do know they'll more than likely keep you over night to make sure everything is fine. Also they'll run tests to see why you passed out and why you have a bit of a memory loss." The paramedic spoke up as she checked Sara's vitals one more time.

"Is Nick…wait, memory loss? I don't have memory loss." Sara looked back and forth between the paramedic and Catherine. "Why did you think that?"

"Sara, when you woke up, you asked Nick if you knew him." Catherine explained to her.

"Is that why he isn't here?" A tear slipped down her check when Catherine gave her a nod. "You have to call him and tell him I didn't mean it. Please Cath." She was scared he would be angry with her. She couldn't bear losing her job and Nick in the same day.

"I will, I promise, but let the doctors check you out first. We both don't want him to rush down here." Catherine touched Sara's shoulder, in hopes it would comfort her.

"Sara, in the locker room we asked you questions, you said you didn't know what happened. Since your memory loss seems to be short lived, do you have an answer for that?" the paramedic asked.

"No, I told you that. One minute I was talking to Catherine, the next you two were in the locker room." Sara explained to the man.

They arrived at the hospital a short time after. Catherine went with Sara, and sat and waited for the doctor to come in and look at her.

Meanwhile, Warrick had found Nick in the layout room going over photos of Eli. He could tell his mind wasn't in the case. He didn't know how to comfort his heart broken friend. Hey was all he said as he entered the room, going over and looking at the photos himself.

"I don't want to talk about it man." Nick truly didn't want to speak about it. Cause if he did, he knew he would cry. Right now that is the last thing he wanted.

"Nick, don't be angry with her. She did hit her head quite hard. Give her time." Warrick wanted to reason with him, to make him see that he had to take this all not as hard.

"She forgot me 'Rick. I thought she loved me, and she forgot me."

Warrick knew it was hard on Nick; it would be hard on anyone. He also knew it had to be hard on Sara. Having part of ones life erased in a moment. How scary that would be. "You said that she loves you…"

"Loved, Warrick, loved. She can't even remember me, how will she love me?"

"One, we don't know the memory loss is permanent. Two, what happens when she gets it back, and realizes you turned you back on her when she needed you? God Nick, this is so not like you. Three, you still haven't answered my question."

Nick stopped what he was doing. Warrick was right, he should stand behind Sara. "What question is that?"

"Do you love her?"

"Of course I love her 'Rick. What's not to love?"

"Well?" Warrick went and took the photo out of Nick's hand.

"Well what?"

"What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be next to Sara?" Warrick watched as Nick headed out the door.

Nick turned around and smiled at Warrick who was already taking care of the photos. "Hey 'Rick, thanks." He disappeared before he could reply.

Catherine sat next to Sara as the doctor looked into her eyes. He couldn't see anything seriously wrong with her, though he was concerned about the reason she had passed out in the first place. "Well Miss Sidle, how are you feeling now? Are you dizzy, feeling sick?"

"No, none of that, just a headache."

The doctor wrote something down in his notes, flipped a few pages and looked at what was written. "Your MRI came back normal, but your blood results have yet to come back." He closed his notes the looked down at her. "I would like you to stay here for a few hours while we wait for the results to come in."

Before Sara could comment Catherine spoke up. "That's fine doctor, thank you."

The doctor nodded at the two women, "I'll be back. Try to get some sleep, Miss Sidle." He walked out leaving the two women alone to talk.

"Cath, why isn't Nick here, yet?" Sara looked at her with eyes so sad. "Is he that upset with me?"

Catherine moved so she sat on the edge of the bed. "Sara, Nick…" She took her hand. She wondered if Sara forgot what she told her earlier, but she knew she should tell her. She knew this was going to be hard on her, but she took a deep breath and continued. "After you woke up from passing out, Sara, you asked Nick if you knew him." She watched as the color drained from her face.

"I know that, you told me, but I thought he would've been here by now." Sara sat there for a few moments unable to speak. All she could think of was how bad she must've hurt Nick. No wonder why he wasn't here, why would he want to be. A single tear slipped down her cheek. She couldn't stay there; she had to go talk to him. She took the blankets off and went to get out of bed.

"Where do you think you are going?" Catherine stopped Sara from getting out of bed. "You heard the doctor, you need to rest. Don't make me call him back in here, 'cause I will, if you pull that again." She pulled the covers back on her and pushed her softly back.

"Cath, I need to talk to Nick, I need to tell him I didn't mean it." Sara went to sit up again but was stopped by Catherine once more.

"Warrick is talking to him, and if I know Warrick…and I do know Warrick… then Nick will be here in a few minutes." Catherine was able to calm Sara down. She moved and sat back in the chair. She watched as she started to drift off to sleep.

Nick walked through the door shortly after. He walked over to bed and sat next to Sara. He softly ran his hands down her hair. "How long has she been sleep?" He didn't even turn to Catherine as he asked.

"She just fell asleep." Catherine stood and walked over to and touched Nick's shoulder. "I will go and let you be alone with her." She gave him a quick rub on the back and exited the room.

Sara moaned a bit as she moved her head. Her eyes fluttered open and looked straight at Nick. She smiled up at him as he touched her cheek. She was so happy to see him she didn't want to speak. All she wanted to do was look at him.

"Sara…It's me Nick, look I know you don't remember me right now, but…"

"Nick…"

"Let me finish okay…" Nick interrupted her. "I just want to let you know I love you. I will always be here if you need me. I want to be with you, always, but honey I can't be with you on the same level."

"But…"

"Shhh," Nick said as he placed a finger on her lips. "I just don't want you to feel because we are together…were together." He corrected himself. "I just don't want you to have to continue to be with someone you don't love." Nick kissed her on the cheek.

Sara wrapped her arms around Nick's neck. "Please, don't go." She moved back and looked into his eyes. "Please…don't." She moved to kiss him.

Nick moved away and took a hold of her hands. "I'm sorry." He looked at the door, and then back at Sara. "I should go." He kissed her hands, before walking away.

As soon as Nick was gone, Sara curled up in a ball and cried. She wanted to jump out of bed and run to him, to make him understand that she did remember him. She remembered the way he would walk up behind her and wrap his arms around her. She cuddled the pillow tight to muffle her broken hearted screams.

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Grissom sat in his office looking at the disciplinary sheet he had filled out on Sara. He knew Catherine was right. He had little grounds to suspend Sara, let alone fire her. He was just so hurt when he saw her with Nick. He was mad she had meant that one day he could be too late. He didn't want it to be to late. He took the paper to the shredder and slid it through. After it was all shredded he headed to the hospital to apologize.

Nick sat in his car, head against the steering wheel as he cried. He felt like doing nothing more than going back into Sara's room and holding her. He hadn't meant to break up with her, but he looked at her and realized he should. He didn't want to push her, to make her feel like she had to love him. He prayed, more than anything, she would understand when and if her memory ever returned.

His cell phone's shrill brought him out of his misery. "Stokes."

"Nick, we have another rape. Same as before, Nick. She says it happened to her last week." Brass explained

"Is she at the station?"

"Yes, and Nick…she says there are more."

"I'm on my way." Nick hung up and he was about to drive off when Catherine flagged him down.

"Thanks for the ride back." Catherine turned to look at Nick, who was like a zombie. "Alright, what did you do? Please, don't say you broke up with her." She knew something was wrong when she tried to talk to a crying Sara.

"Okay, I won't." That was the only thing he could say. He knew if he tried to explain he would start to cry again. He felt Catherine open her mouth to say something. "I don't want to talk about it Catherine, just mind your own business."

"Fine, whatever you say Nick."

Sara had her back turned to the door as Grissom walked in. He quietly made his way to the chair next to her bed and sat down. He sat and watched as she laid there. He didn't want to say anything in case she was sleeping.

"Leave." She knew who was there without even having to turn around, and she didn't want to speak to him.

"Sara, I just want to talk." He stood up and walked over so he could see her face. "Please talk to me."

"Talk about what?" Her tears started to fall once again. She could see all he could do was open his mouth. "Come on, what do you want to talk to me about? Maybe the minute I move on with my life, you screw it up. In one day I went from being happy and having a great guy, to not having a job and being alone." She whipped her tears away. "He broke up with me."

"But that's a good thing." Grissom knew he just said something stupid the minute it came out of his mouth. He couldn't understand why when he could manage speak around her he always said the wrong thing. "Sorry that came out wrong. Look Sara, you still have your job. I was wrong to fire you. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Great!" Sara closed her eyes in hopes her pain would subside just a little.

"There is no record, so when you feel up to coming back you can." Grissom slid his hands into hers.

Sara pulled her hands back. "Fine, then can I take a couple weeks of my vacation time I have built up.?"

Grissom left soon after agreeing to her request for vacation time. A request he would soon regret.


End file.
